Hugh Littleton, President of HJL Leadership Solutions, spoke about Emotional Intelligence at our recent Monday Night Meeting.
Emotional Intelligence is NOT:
- Related to IQ
- Often visible to the average person
- About being nice all the time, it’s about being truthful
- About being touchy-feely, it’s about being aware of your feelings and those of others
- About being emotional, but rather being smart with your emotions
Hugh went on to say that how we communicate.
- 7% is through our Words
- 35% through our Tone and
- 58% via Body Language (or nonverbal)
Therefore, to be successful in your job search, you need to listen, show empathy, and build trust with your prospective employer. This is not done by showing how smart you are but by understanding your and the other individual’s tone and body language.
Emotional Intelligence will help you be a better leader, be more confident in your job search, and inspire others.
Self-Awareness Checklist
Hugh suggested your first exercise should be to take a piece of paper and draw a vertical line down the middle. Then, on the left side, identify your KEEPS (the things you do well), and on the other side, identify your WORK ON (things you don’t have a good mastery of).
Then look at the paper and develop more confidence with your KEEPS. Know your value by using these traits on your resume, LinkedIn profile, and in an interview.
On the WORK ON the list, take one trait and be patient. Even Stephen Covey said it takes approximately one month to develop a new habit.
Emotional Intelligence Benefits
Here are the ten benefits of EI –
- Career Success – 85% of leaders who identified as Emotionally Intelligent attributed this trait to their success
- Stronger relationships
- Increased optimism and confidence, feel okay displaying vulnerability and being transparent.
- Better health
- Increased calmness
- Willingness to take calculated risks
- Better communicator
- Less workplace conflict. Hugh recommends individuals take or use The Thomas-Kilmann Instrument. It measures a person’s behavior in conflict situations. Your EI will go up by understanding your conflict style and those around you.
- Better problem solving
- Non-judgemental
Daniel Goleman
Hugh is a big fan of Goleman‘s book, Emotional Intelligence – Why it can matter more than Intelligence and referenced the five competencies:
- Self-Awareness: Understanding your emotional triggers, what energizes you
- Self-Regulation: Not letting buttons be pushed, self-control
- Self-Motivation
- Empathy: Relating to others
- Effective Relationships: Can you and I work together to get the job done?
The first three are about you; the last two are about your ability to relate to others.
Other Resources
In addition to these valuable resources, the group also brought up other books on the subject.
Emotional Intelligence Mastery: A Practical Guide To Improving Your EQ by Eric Jordan
The Speed of Trust by Stephen M.R. Covey
Dare to Lead: Brave Work. Tough Conversations. Whole Hearts. by Brene Brown
Please Join Us at our Monday Night Meetings
Monday Night Meetings are free, 90-minute seminars on essential job search and career topics. All are welcome to attend at Christ Church Episcopal or via Zoom.
The speakers at each meeting are experienced in the many aspects of job searching.
Meetings are held throughout the year on the first and third Monday nights each month. In addition, we have an optional networking time that starts at 7 pm. The presenter begins promptly at 7:30 and ends on or before 9 pm.